"It's weird, y'know.
        "It's a weird thing.
        "I'm happy.
        "What else can I say?
        "It's weird to be happy.
        "I mean, to be this happy.
        "As happy as I am.
        "Usually I'm discontent, angry-- maybe not as angry as Brian, but still angry nonetheless.
        "But, now, happiness.
        "I've found someone.
        "And the weird thing is she was under my nose the whole time.
        "I didn't even try looking, and there she was.
        "And we connected.
        "And now here we are.
        "I can't explain it.
        "As clichéd as it sounds, it is kind of like magic.
        "You spend all this time looking, actively looking for someone, and then when you stop trying you find her.
        "There she is.
        "It's sort of Zen.
        "Really.
        "If you want to think of it that way.
        "And sure we fight, sometimes, but who doesn't fight.
        "People don't agree 100% on everything, anyway.
        "People of the same sex, people of the opposite sex.
        "Why should they agree 100% of the time?
        "We all have our own experiences, we're all informed by different things.
        "So, why should it be any different when you're married?
        "Except that you're closer, when you're married.
        "And you can talk it out.
        "And talking it out, sharing ideas and time, it makes you grow even closer.
        "And it is like telepathy.
        "That's the weird thing.
        "I don't care what Brian thinks.
        "But, he doesn't deny it.
        "He's just scared of it.
        "He's just scared of intimacy, I think.
        "But you really do synch up with each other, you really do finish each others' sentences.
        "You do sort of fuse into one mind.
        "At first it's kind of ecstatic and then you just get used to it and move like one being.
        "And it's amazing.
        "Like being completed.
        "Sorry if that's another cliché.
        "But that's the way it is.
        "And, so, yeah.
        "I'm happy.
        "Maybe really happy for the first time in my life.
        "Mornings.
        "She gets up, I get up.
        "We go out and do our separate stuff all day, then we come back to the same home, and see each other, and talk about our days.
        "And neither of us is ever really alone.
        "And I'm not crushed by despair any more.
        "And, I mean, it's not like I'm depressive like Brian.
        "But there are times when life does come crashing down on me, and I do wonder if anything really does mean anything.
        "And now at least I can talk to Heather.
        "And, frankly, she's a lot more sensible about this kind of stuff than Brian.
        "A lot more pragmatic.
        "So, actually, when I talk to her I actually don't finish up the conversation feeling worse than before.
        "Brian's good at that.
        "Making you feel worse than before.
        "And that doesn't really help matters any.
        "Usually.
        "Not that Heather's all silver linings, exactly-- but with her there's just a little more hope.
        "And hope is good.
        "It's not all just a bunch of crap some guys made up.
        "I know Brian would just dismiss all this as an excess of serotonin in my brain giving me the illusion of something I choose to define as 'love,' but, frankly, I think it's more than that.
        "There's more to love than just neurochemicals.
        "And there's more to life than just anger and despair.
        "I know that.
        "Now that I'm in love, really and truly in love.
        "Maybe for the first time.
        "Because, this is real, not just sex.
        "This is union.
        "A lot of people just want to have sex.
        "They think marriage is all about sex.
        "That when they're married, now they'll have something to control that they can have sex with.
        "That isn't marriage.
        "That isn't love.
        "That's actually pathetic.
        "And what we have here, this is more than just the physical.
        "Me and Heather.
        "This is-- what-- what's the word I remember from philosophy class, all those years ago?
        "Back when I was in school.
        "Brian uses it all the time.
        "This is intersubjectivity.
        "True intersubjectivity.
        "Not just me relating to her like an object.
        "This is two entities, two minds, to subjects blending and meshing and becoming more than what they are alone.
        "It's amazing.
        "It's like living in light.
        "Maybe I'm being too romantic, to soft, to hyperbolic, but words just do not do this feeling justice.
        "All the childish clichés are true when it comes to what you feel when you feel love.
        "That's what makes the clichés so ridiculous.
        "They seem absurd when you're not there, but when you're in the middle of them you discover that they're the most real, true things there are.
        "Sometimes I wake up seconds before she does and I watch her sleeping, but just for seconds.
        "We usually get up at the exact same time.
        "Wake up at the exact same time, I mean-- we're that synched up.
        "But she looks so beautiful asleep, lying there, asleep.
        "Eyes closed, gently breathing.
        "There are these little blonde hairs on her cheeks.
        "A light fuzz.
        "And the sun shines on them and the way the light hits them and defuses it looks like she's glowing.
        "And then I can put my arm around her and move in close.
        "And she's so warm.
        "And she just mumbles something, maybe, and then her eyes open a fraction and she says 'Morning.'
        "And I say 'Morning.'
        "And we smile.
        "And then later, at the end of the day, eating supper together.
        "We talk about things.
        "Our respective days.
        "I cook, she cooks.
        "We take turns.
        "Doing everything together.
        "We hang out at the mall.
        "And I feel like a teenager again.
        "And I never feel alone."

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