30.EPILOGUE.37a: February 1, 2003.
"Houston, We Have A Problem (1)."
"Brian!"
"Hello...?
"It's me. It's Bob!"
"Oh. Uh. Yeah.
Hi."
"What're you doing?"
"Just. Just lying
in bed. Just thinking about the futility of everything. Thinking
about how petty and rotten and elitist I am."
"Well get up and stop feeling
sorry for yourself, the shuttle, the shuttle's exploded!"
"Huh? There was a
space mission today?"
"Yeah. And well it
was a few days ago and the shuttle blew up on re-entry. Turn on the
tv."
"I didn't even know there
was anything. I don't even pay attention to shuttle launches any
more. They're all so boring. I mean they just go up, look around
or come down. Big deal."
"Yeah, but--"
"Or maybe they do something
up there for 'National Security.' Whoopdee freakin' doo-- it's national
security. Hold me back I'm gonna cum...."
"No but you would you listen
the shuttle blew up!"
"They should at least have
a moon base. I mean practically I didn't even know there was a space
station until after the fact, they made such a non-deal out of it.
Well, I mean I knew they were making one, they mentioned it once or twice,
and then I forgot about it because it seems like no one even cares.
I mean, there should have been a moon base in the 1980s and-- what?
Did you say the shuttle blew up?"
"Yes, you assbag!
Turn on the tv."
So I walk to the tv, carrying
my portable phone. I turn on the tv and there it is, footage of the
space shuttle Columbia disintegrating.
"Holy crap!"
"Yeah," Bob said.
Holy crap."
"I'll call you back," I
said.
"You do that."
And I hang up the phone....
CUT:
Bob: It was on every channel,
except the cartoon channels and things the the space channel and the cooking
channel-- every channel except the specialty ones. And even there,
on some of the specialty stations the explosion was being discussed briefly--
for example on the weather channel and the music stations.
Me: Yep. And,
I am very, very ashamed to say-- very, very ashamed-- really-- me there,
sitting on the couch in my shorts, transfixed and scratching myself-- the
first thing I thought was: "Is it terrorists?"
Bob: Yeah. And,
if it's terrorists-- the next thing in my mind was: "Will there be a retaliation
from the USA, and if a retaliation then a counterstrike or maybe even some
sort of huge international incident that will escalate exponentially into
another global war." And because of all the movies and books everybody
knows World War III only lasts 10 minutes and swallows the globe with nuclear
fire and--
Me: No, wait, now
it's all biological-- now World War III lasts two months and the airborne
SuperAIDS and Radioactive Smallpox wipes us all out and we die coughing
and gagging and drowning in the black oozing phlegm of Captain Trips....
Bob: And then almost
immediately the newscaster reassured me that there was no way this event
could have been caused by any terrorist group-- repeat, no way this even
could have been caused by any terrorist group. So, I guess I wasn't
the only one thinking it.
Me: Yeah. This
is how brainwashed I am, now. Even though I knew the instant I saw
the shuttle disintegrate it could not have the result of terrorism--
bang!-- immediately the old paranoia clicks on and I'm entertaining bad
b-movie end-of-the-world scenarios.
Bob: Thank you George
Bush. Thank you, CNN. Because of you, reality really has developed
the momentum of fiction.
Me: And on the news
channels the footage was repeated over and over, showed in slow motion.
Slower, slower, delaying the actual event, the disintegration and breakup,
the explosion, like cheap pornography.
Bob: And you know
what? For all the horror the networks were trying to instill-- and
they were trying to instill horror-- and, I guess, why shouldn't
they? After all, that's what they get paid to do.
Me: For all the horror
the networks were trying to instill in me, I thought, really, this is nothing.
Seven people died, sure. And it sucked to be them.
Bob: But, yeah, accidents
happen.
Me: Yeah. So,
no horror.
Bob: None. Only
vague curiosity. At best.
Me: I just hope the
space program isn't crippled again, like it was after the Challenger disaster.
Bob: Yeah. Because
that's the one thing we need right now-- to get the hell off this planet.
Me: No matter what
anybody says, we have to get off this planet. Or at least I know
I do....
30.EPILOGUE.37a: February 1, 2003.