Scene:  Brian and Bob.  Some smoking ruins.  Looks like it might be some place in Iraq.  Or maybe not.

BRIAN:  Here we are, coming at you from something that might be a media-generated image of Iraq.
BOB:  It's good to be here, Brian.
BRIAN:  Good to have you here, Bob.
BOB:  Nice to smell the fresh, burning air and be brought back to the front lines, rescued from being a simple, one-dimensional plot device in that self-imposed, self aware, pretentious, emotional limbo you've exiled yourself to, recently.
BRIAN:  Temporarily rescued, anyway, because bay-bee you ain't seen nuthin' yet.  And, by the way, you're still a one-dimensional plot device.
BOB:  True enough, but I'll take what work I can get.
BRIAN:  True enough.  Recession, you know....

Long pause.

BRIAN:  Anyway, we're coming at you virtual from "Iraq" for the next little while.
BOB:  Breaking into your regularly-scheduled *30* programming.
BRIAN:  With all the breaking propaganda the data steam will allow us to regurgitate.
BOB:  From their minds to their mouths, to our minds from our mouths, to your mind, or whatever.
BRIAN:  And, as I look around me, at these ruins around me, I can only say one thing, and one thing only, only one thing comes to mind and mouth when I witness this mighty scene and that is:  SHOCK AND AWE.
BOB:  Shock and awe!
BRIAN:  That's right.  Shock and awe.  Just like the US Government said, just like what scrolled at the bottom of the screen during the CNN broadcast of March 19, 2003.  Shock and awe.  The words "Shock and awe."
BOB:  They said it, they did it!
BRIAN:  Maybe it was Donald Rumsfeld who said there would be shock and awe on tv that day.  Maybe it was Harlan Ullmann.  It doesn't really matter, does it?
BOB:  They're all sort of the same, anyhow.
BRIAN:  The important this is the shock and awe.  Shock.  And awe.
BOB:  I feel it.  I feel the shock.  And, like a mighty spirit entering into me as if from Heaven, by God Almighty I do feel the awe!
BRIAN:  Apparently the tactic that caused this rubble is called something like the shock and awe technique.  Or something like that.
BOB:  You're kidding.
BRIAN:  Nope.  Apparently, it has something to do with Sun Tzu.  It has to do with quickly disarming the enemy right away, when expectations are low, and then using the "shock" generated by that to cause "awe" in the enemy.
BOB:  Well, then.
BRIAN:  I don't think Sun Tzu actually called it "shock and awe," though.
BOB:  So, is this actually called "Operation Shock And Awe?"
BRIAN:  I don't think so.  I think it's more like "Operation I Hope To Fuck We Actually Find Some Weapons Of Mass Destruction Here Or Else We're Really Really Really Fuckin' Screwed."  Or words to that effect.
BOB:  I see.
BRIAN:  Which, in itself does contain certain elements of shock and awe.
BOB:  Shock and awe, shock and awe.
BRIAN:  But not awe and shock.  I guess that doesn't work as well.
BOB:  It sort of inverts the natural order.
BRIAN:  Yeah.
BOB:  And but the funny thing is, like you said, they said there would be shock and awe when the bombings started.
BRIAN:  They did indeed.
BOB:  And when the bombings started, right there, on tv, they said everyone would feel it, the shock and the awe.
BRIAN:  Yep.  Scrolling across the bottom of the screen.  THE BOMBINGS HAVE STARTED "SHOCK AND AWE!!!"  Or words to that effect.  Just like the trailer for a crappy movie.
BOB:  And I felt it.  Oh yes.  Even though I knew the shock was coming, and even though I had been fully prepared for the awe, on Mar 19, 2003 I felt the shock.  And then, deep down inside.  I felt the awe.
BRIAN:  My mom cried.  There was just so much shock and awe.
BOB:  Heather just said: "Oh for the love of God those pinheads actually went and did it!"
BRIAN:  This all happened once before.  Only a little differently.  In the 1990s.  But that was more like Space Invaders, or Pac Man.  This is like Tomb Raider or Spyro.  But not Final Fantasy X.
BOB:  But, still, I know this is sort of a repeat of old events, but I still do have to admit, there really is that shock.  And that awe.
BRIAN:  Shock, and, awe.  They said it would happen, and then it happened.  The shock and the awe.  They're magicians.
BOB:  And, looking about, at these ruins, I am shocked.  And I am awed.
BRIAN:  Shock (tm) and Awe (©).  It refers to both the way the enemy is supposed to feel during the attack.  And also the emotions the tv viewers are supposed to feel when watching the coverage of the attack.  And of course to the shock and awe the rest of us, the cynics, are supposed to feel-- either a stunned "they really did go through with it" sorta thing, or maybe a sense of terror because the machinations of government have just proved they're 100% in control and the existence of dissent won't even be acknowledged.  Shock and awe from those opposed to the war, as they realize all their efforts to stop it were completely and utterly futile.
BOB:  And speaking of The War (tm, ©, ®)-- it's going well, don't you think?
BRIAN:  Well, they sure blew up this stuff, here.  Whatever it was we're standing in front of.
BOB:  Yeah, they blew this stuff up real good.
BRIAN:  Just a shame more countries weren't here.  I mean, if there'd been more countries blowing up stuff maybe there'd be even more shock and awe.
BOB:  Yeah, I mean, why go for just a  little shock and awe when you can have a whole bunch.  And that would have only taken 2 weeks.  If the USA and Britain would've just waited 2 more weeks like the UN Weapons inspectors had wanted, there probably would have been UN support.
BRIAN:  Yeah, because it did look like a lot of other countries were onboard-- or at least primed to get onboard.  If the UN had said yes, that there was reason to go in, probably on the suspicion that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction-- if Hans Blix had said there was probably cause to go to war, the USA would have had UN approval-- and it really did look like that was going to happen.  At the end of two weeks.
BOB:  But instead the Americans decided to go into Iraq with almost no backing.  They decided not to wait for the two weeks.
BRIAN:  Well, y'know, thinking about it again, though, maybe if they would've waited for those two weeks, maybe they would've had to share.  Maybe instead of increasing it, it would have actually cut back on the Shock And Awe (tm, ©, ®).
BOB:  True enough.  And, after all, we all know how important that is....

Next:  Cue cards....